uplifting! for new year's eve

crap on me
don't know how to proceed:
2008
three month's timeline,
just the most immediate one.

feet tingling, outward reminder
of tick tock winding down inside,
lowering of the Times Square crystal ball.
doctor, look, try to find
the date of my demise. why?
i'm not good at preparation,
so fine with a surprise.

if i knew i'd die may 2008
would i go to work, or lie abed?
or throw everything over
for some final experiences?
(i fear i'm a crab, cave entrenched)

everything out there is about making money
but i don't want to do anything:

buy gifts
take advantage of after-Christmas sales
go out today
see a movie
party at a club for New Year's Eve
fetch groceries
and now, i barely desire to come for this coffee

(a woman next to me here in caffe ladro emits the aroma of soap,
but i've no interest in ablutions--bathing, maintaining, soak).

society. dec 31st start my slide into
accelerated, premature elderly life
of non-participation.